Really, Leo?
by lunarock9
Summary: Short chapters to capture random "Really, Leo?" moments.
1. Chapter 1

**Hey, guys, this is a new story inspired by "Oh, Nico" by ChickWithThePurpleGuitar. Special thanks to her!**

Leo's POV

"I just don't get it." I said, confused.

" What don't you get? We've explained it over and over again nine times already!"Piper sighed in exasperation.

" The greeks called defeat, gave them the wooden horse, then the soldiers who had been hiding in it got out and destroyed Troy." Jason explained, _yet again._

" I know, I get that, but-"

"What? You said-" Piper interrupted, until I cut her off again.

"-I mean, why a horse? And why did it have to be a statue? Those guys have communication issues if they have to use a wooden horse to say 'I give up.'!

Piper and Jason rightfully facepalmed. Jason groaned in defeat.

"Really, Leo?"

**Short, I know. another chapter up soon. Bye!**

**PS. Updates will be random, depending on inspiration. Submit ideas if you want!**


	2. Chapter 2

Leo's POV (obviously, I mean the whole thing is about him!)

" Ow!" I exclaimed in pain. Piper snickered.

Jason patted me on the back.

" I tried to warn you." he teased, laughing.

I felt my face, no doubt red from the slap. "Dang, Roman girls slap hard." I muttered.

"What a welcome!" laughed Percy.

"Leo, we're trying to get on their _good_ side." Annabeth chided.

" I was. Their _really_ good side. I just got, um..."

" Rejected?" The Stolls offered helpfully.

"No..."

" Really, Leo?"

**Here you go! REVIEW!**


	3. Chapter 3

Leo was conversing with Thalia, in the arena. He'd finally given up on her, and she let him come. While they were talking, he noticed something.

"Hey, Thalia, you're an archer, right?" Leo cut in, interrupting whatever she was going to say. She paused, briefly, puzzled. Where was he going with this?

"Um, yeah...?"

"And you have a blond, blue eyed little sibling?"

"Yeah..." '_Shouldn't he know this?' _she thought.

"And you're a teenager?"He continued.

"Now you're just being stupid."

But he went on, sitting fully up." You're like, the original Katniss!" he exclaimed.

" Really, Leo?"

**So, how'd you like it? This is not my story, the credit goes to PiperGrace, she is truly awesome. And Rick Riordan. Sorry for not updating, school started and I'm busy.**

**REVIEW!**


	4. Chapter 4

Nico's POV

I walked down the path, hands in my pockets, past the cabins. There was music and horrible wailing. I was wondering what is was when I realized it was an attempt to sing. I could make out the words more and more clearly the closer I got. It also got louder. By the time I was close enough to tell where it was, it was deafeningly loud. The shrieking came from the Hephaestus cabin.

"AND I SAID ROMEO TAKE ME SOMEWHERE WE CAN BE ALONE-"

I chuckled. That _had _to be Leo.

"Leo? You in there?"I called over the din.

"Yeah!"

I rounded the corner. "Taylor Swift, huh?" He was right next to the speakers.

"What? That was Nyssa!" Nyssa appeared to be wearing enormous sound blocking headphones, but I guess she has super hearing because she glared and slapped him. I laughed again.

"Really, Leo?"

**Hey guys. I'm so sorry i haven't updated, school has given me so much to do... Here's a short one. I'm posting another one, too, to make up for lack of updates. This was another great idea from PiperGrace. Thanks! I'm serious, people, you give me ideas, I post them.**


	5. Chapter 5

Piper's POV

I was sitting with Leo and Jason at a picnic table by the soon to be finished _Argo II. _I had forced the boys to take a break, because seriously, they were overworking themselves. Jason and I were watching Leo play with his fire powers. He had a soda.

" Argh! I was so close! Wait a minute... Jason! You messed it up with your freaky wind powers! I don't mess it up when you play with your powers!"

"That's because I don't play with them."

Leo had been trying to stack up balls of fire to write words. They kept going out, though.

I rolled my eyes. "Give it up, Leo. It's not going to work."

"Fine..." He started playing with his soda.

"Be careful." Jason warned. The flames danced closer to the soda.

"Don't!" He cried out. "It'll-

He was cut off when the bottle burst, spraying me with hot soda.

"- explode." Jason finished.

I sat there, dripping, in shock.

"Leo!"

"Sorry Beauty Queen!"

"The shirt- it's ruined!"

"No need to be a barbie, Piper."

"Drew's going to kill me!"

He backed away, nervous. "It's not that bad." He stammered.

"Really Leo?"

**So, anyway, I posted a poll, please check that out, and thanks for reading. This was my attempt to please whoever asked for a Piper/Leo chapter. The credit for the idea goes to BeUniqueKasey, another awesome reviewer. You give me cake, I do the frosting(unless it has already been frosted) **

**REVIEW!**


	6. Chapter 6

"It just doesn't make sense!" Leo exclaimed loudly.

"Leo, I'm tired, can we just-" Jason was cut off again as he gave up, slumping in the bed.

"Just hear me out. Why did the crocodile dude-"

"Kronos." Jason interrupted.

"Don't interrupt me! Yeah, whatever, so his name is Kronos. Why did he eat his children? What if they didn't taste good? Why would he make himself suffer? And couldn't they like, start a tornado or something? I mean, they're gods!" Leo ranted.

"You're right Leo, why don't you go tell him that next time you see-" Leo cut him off, again.

"And what's with his wife? She's just like 'Here little boy who can barely walk! Take this sharp and incredibly dangerous knife and slice your father with it. Then you can have extra dessert!'

Jason sighed exasperatedly, but Leo was too far in his speech of criticism to notice.

"Really, Leo?"

**...'Sup guys... Yeah, sorry about the wait, I drowned in homework and stuff, so I didn't have time. Anyway, this was another idea assist story. Thanks to: Fantasy137**


	7. Chapter 7

Leo sat on the front porch stair of the big house. He was staring at something on the ground, watching with seemingly great interest. Annabeth walked up to him. She stopped right in front of him.

He looked up, with horror filled eyes.

"Hey, Leo, what's-"

"You've killed it,"he moaned, "You killed Justin!"

Annabeth raised an eyebrow.

"Who's Justin?"

"You don't know who Justin is? You killed him, but you don't know who he is?"

"Uh..."

"She killed him! She killed Justin! SHE MURDERED HIM AND SHE DOESN'T EVEN KNOW WHO HE IS!"Yelled Leo.

"Wha-"Annabeth was totally confused.

"I shall avenge you, Justin." swore Leo.

"What's he doing?"some of the other campers whispered.

"No Leo! You'll get killed!" Connor Stoll yelled.

"I'm glad to know you care, but I must avenge my brother."

He turned to face Annabeth.

"My name is Leo Valdez. You killed my beetle. Prepare to eat flames!"

And with his battle cry of 'FLAME ON!', he launched himself at Annabeth.

-30 seconds later-

"Ow! Don't kill me, don't kill me, don't kill me!"

"Umm... Annabeth?"

"Yes, Percy?"

"Why are you holding Leo down with your foot and pointing your dagger at his throat? And- Oh, wow, that looks painful..."

"Because he tried to attack me."

Percy crouched down so that he was at eye level with Annabeth's dagger, where it was hovering over Leo's neck.

"Leo, word to the wise, don't go fighting daughters of Athena for no reason. You'll never win."

"I was going to avenge Justin's death."

"Who's Justin?"

"A beetle." Annabeth put in.

"First of all, that's stupid. Second of all- actually, it's the same as the first one. That was _really_ stupid. Anyone else would've killed you."

"I could've won..."Leo pouted.

"Really, Leo?"

**Hey, peeps! Special thanks to rrfanman**** for this one. Sorry about the wait, I had another HUGE test, and the teachers were all "YOU WILL STUDY OR DIE!' And then I started this volleyball program, and musical, and homework got horrible. Anyway, to make up for it, there are now TWO NEW CHAPTERS! I know, I suck. Find any mistakes, (or things that you like) tell me, and you get a free virtual cookie!**


	8. Chapter 8

Leo and Thalia were training again, in the arena for training. Which makes sense, because what else would they be doing in a training arena? Certainly not making out, because Thalia is a Hunter of Artemis, though we all know she dates Nico in secret.

Anyway, she was showing him a particular move, and he was staring at her like he was really trying to learn how to defend himself.

Slash, swing, swipe.

"See, Leo? Slash, swing, swipe."

"Oh, uh, ok." He did the moves in slow motion, to get it right.

"Slash, uh, swipe, and... Swing!"

"No, no, no... You got it all wrong."

She showed him again.

Slash, swing, swipe.

"You do the move like that. Leo?" Where'd he go? She turned around.

A fireball flew past her head, taking out a tree in the distance.

"WHAT THE HADES VALDEZ!?" She screamed at him.

He puffed up his chest, proclaiming, " I shall become Adele by setting fire to the rain! I'm the fire, you're the rain."

"That doesn't even make sense!"

"It's close enough," he reasoned, shrugging.

She paused, and thought for a moment.

"Is this about the Katniss thing again?"

"Uh, no. But that would make more sense. Katniss, the girl on fire. Hmm. How does burning sound?"

"Really, Leo?"

**Yup, special thanks to PiperGrace _again_ for the chapter. Thanks for reading, please review, you're welcome for writing, and sorry for not updating soon enough. You peeps are great! **


	9. Chapter 9

"Leo, man, Festus is acting up again. He _really _needs a walk." Jake informed me.

"On it." I answered, and sped off toward bunker nine.

Now, before you go all 'But Festus broke!' on me, let me explain. I was able to fix Festus, and now he can either A, control the Argo II, or B be a bronze dragon. He is AWESOME for quests. But, the care and keeping of a big, heavy, metal dragon doesn't come with a handbook. It took us a lot of corroded metal, oil spills, and fire blown just about everywhere to learn how to take care of Festus.

We figured out a routine: He has his oil and tabasco sauce in the morning, then he stretches for a bit, and then he breathes a fireball at something, as part of waking up. Unfortunately, he didn't exactly care what he breathed fire on, so next to his sleeping space are a bunch of Fire proof targets, preventing him from killing any campers or nature spirits. After the flame dies, he oils himself. It turns out that when he tips his ear, oil comes out. It's actually an adaptation, so he can oil himself without having to get someone to help him. When he's done, he goes for a walk. Then, he goes back to sleep, or starts bounding off walls, begging for a flight.

If he doesn't get to do them, he will roast you, bite you, claw you, jump on you, or dump oil on you until comply.

At the den, Festus was so eager to be going, he snorted flames right in my face. At least he doesn't have snot.

I hopped onto his back, and he took off. With a great leap he was in the air, bounding through the clouds. It was definitely one of the nicer chores here at CHB. We wheeled through the sky, with the occasional routine. I could see the whole camp down below. Clarisse was teaching some kids hand to hand combat, I remembered Piper signing up for it. Most of the Demeter cabin were in the fields today, except for Katie, who was busy chasing the Stolls over a prank. Percy and Annabeth were on the beach. Jason and the Apollo cabin were teaching campers some cool archery tricks. Chiron and Mr. D were playing pinochle again. Overall, it was a peaceful day at camp.

I was watching Katie chase Travis up a tree, while Connor snickered quietly in the background. Don't prank with Connor, he always leaves you to be chased by the angry maniac. Anyway, while I was distracted, Festus got spooked by a bird. Lame, right? Big, fire-breathing dragon scared by a duck. Though I wonder if he has Anatidaephobia(the fear that somewhere, somehow, a duck is watching you.

He pretty much bucked me off. I fell through the air, screaming. He had the nerve to snort at me, watching me fall.

"Thank you for nothing, you stupid reptile!"

He looked a bit hurt at that, but if I was ever going to quote Hiccup, now was the time.

Anyway back to reality: AHHHHHH! Ground nearing, not good!

And then I was stopped from crashing to my death by a hand grabbing my arm, and yanking me up.

"OW!"

"Dude. I just saved your life."said Jason.

"I think you dislocated my arm!"

"No gratefulness, thank you? I should just drop you."

"Thank you for dislocating my arm. I would've been fine, but noooo, you just had to rip my arm out."

"Really, Leo?"

**Thanks to Guest User 'X', for the idea. I've had fun with these. Next one will come up, soon. REVIEW!**


	10. Chapter 10

"Please, Annabeth!"

"NO!"

"Why not?"

"We'll be the laughingstocks of the country!"

"Exactly! If we paint smiley faces on our helmets, the monsters will be laughing so hard, it'll be easy to kill them."

"That's ridiculous!"

"That's the point! It's so stupid it's bound to work!"

"Just like all your other plans?"Piper commented dryly. He glared at her.

"I didn't see you complaining when they all worked."

"They didn't all work."

"Weeeeell, _most_ of them worked."

"Uh huh."

"Fine, a lot of them didn't, but still-"

"Really, Leo?"

**Are you guys happy that I'm updating like crazy? You're lucky I have two weeks to catch up on homework, 'cuz otherwise, I wouldn't be able to do this. R&R!**


	11. Chapter 11

"ZHANG! MCLEAN! GET YOUR BUTTS OVER HERE!" Leo hollered over the commotion in the arena.

"I got a bone to pick with you two." Leo started.

"What is it? Is it Jason?" Piper asked worriedly.

"Did you find out you're Sammy?"Frank asked anxiously.

"Would you two just shut up and listen? No, it's not about your love lives. It's about your parents."

"Well in that case..." Piper started walking off with Frank.

"Oh no you don't." Leo got in front of them.

"You see, I just came to a realization, a realization that may change the way we look at our parents."

He ground to a halt, and stopped pacing.

"Did you realize that your dad claimed you just so you wouldn't feel left out?" He glared at Frank.

Ignoring the last scathing comment, he went on.

"Yesterday, I had that awkward moment as I realized..." He paused, dramatically continuing.

"That Piper's mom cheats on my dad with Frank's dad."

Silence.

"Oh, man that's just _gross!"_

"Ew! I can't believe that _Mom..."_

"I know, right?"

"Seriously man, why did we have to know?"

"I thought you might be interested."  
"REALLY, LEO?"

**I just had:**

**That moment when you realize that Piper's mom cheats on Leo's dad with Frank's dad.** **Saw it on a tumblr post, couldn't resist. Thank you for all the reviews!**


	12. Chapter 12

Camp Half Blood was having a beach day. Everyone was either suntanning, reading a book, or swimming. Brightly colored swimsuits, with neon colors, were sported by almost every girl.

Leo smiled, waiting for the unlucky someone he'd pranked. He wasn't sure exactly who he pranked anyway, but he couldn't wait for their reaction. Just in case, he packed three extra towels during his trip to the beach with the others.

It wasn't long before the outraged shout of "LEO VALDEZ!" was heard along the beach.

His jaw dropped. No way. It couldn't have been... Piper?

Oh crap.

Katie Gardener stormed up the beach.

"Get me a towel. Now. And when I'm done, you are screwed."

Wordlessly, he handed her his four towels. She stormed away.

All around, people were craning their necks, looking at him. Some smirked like "You're in trouble now!", others congratulated him with looks of admiration (the boys), and some glared at him (the girls).

The Stolls came up to him.  
"Nice job, bro!" Connor high-fived him.

"We'll have fun watching you die!" Added Travis cheerfully.

He got up and smiled, laughing.

But inside he was going _ohcrapohcrapohcrapohcrap._

Jason walked up to him.

_Ohcrapohcrapohcrap._

"Hi, Jason?"

"What did you do?"

"I may or may not have accidentally sorta kinda maybe madeyourgirlfriendsbikinidis solve."

"Leo?"

"I made your girlfriend's bikini dissolve. I didn't know it was hers!"

"Really, Leo?"

**But wait, it's not the end!**

**(Except for Leo)**

Chiron walked up to him, giving him the you-brought-this-on-yourself look. Leo rolled his eyes, standing right next to Piper's chair dutifully, taking the (stupid) punishment that Piper had decreed (Why Chiron? Why would you let her decide? I've been left to the wolves!).

Where as his prank had made her underdressed, he was now over dressed. In a black suit, complete with a bow tie, his hair had been straightened and gelled so now it stuck straight up. With a towel over his arm, he was now Piper's butler.

He fidgeted in the uncomfortable clothing. His fingers started tapping.

"Be still, Leo. Butlers don't fidget."

He glared straight ahead, but stopped tapping.

"Some more lemonade, please?" She asked, smirking at him.

He went to get some.

On the way back, he _just so happened_ to trip, spilling it all over Piper.

"Leo!"

"Oops."

"Really, Leo?"

**For Daizels, who wanted Piper and Leo, and an attempt at Anonymous' request, Leo-pisses-off-Chiron. But I couldn't have him do it outright, because I can't stand it when Chiron punishes the pranksters.**


	13. Chapter 13

Annabeth was feeling much better. She and Percy finally had time alone together, and he was setting up something. 'A date,' he'd called it, 'to make up for the time we've lost.' Sometimes he could be the least romantic guy ever, and other times, he was really sweet.

Anyway, he took her by the hand to the deck of the Argo II. She gasped, as she saw what he had planned.

A picnic blanket had been spread across the deck. A basket was set out, and a lamp had been set to shine light on the spot.

He smiled at her, and together they sat down, enjoying each other's company.

"Wait, wait, wait. No loveydoveyness yet. I still have to set up the connection." said a voice from behind them.

"Leo? What connection?" Annabeth implored.

"To the Aphrodite cabin. They promised me if I set this up, they'd do something in return."

"Leo! No!" Percy shouted, but it was too late.

"O, Iris, goddess of the rainbow, please accept my offering. Show me Lacy, Camp Half Blood."

A shrill squeal signaled the connection's success.

"LEO!" the couple complained.

"What? They said they might even set me up!"

"Really, Leo?"

**For candyland7, and badasspsychic223. Hope you like it!**


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